Do you ever feel like you are just not going to be the success that you desire so much?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Caitlin Rutkay on December 2, 2009 at 12:15pm

Yes! I think my main problem is the economy and how that has impacted my success. However, other people have suggested that the business is out there and I need to change my attitude. I def feel you just need to keep at it. Its esp hard when you own your own small business and you do not get a paycheck from someone else. Hang in there.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shanah S on December 2, 2009 at 9:51pm

Thank you Caitlin. I keep hearing about changing attitudes too. I am not sure what that means exactly. I'm not sure if people are thinking that you are not being aggressive enough or overly assertive. What a thin line! All I know is that I am willing to roll up my sleeves, I am willing to be human and fall down and get back up over and over again till I can be the success that I desire so much.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Darline Turner-lee on January 6, 2010 at 1:03am

Shanah, I often feel this way. Like you, I believe in my heart that I will be a success. I worry that I won't be able to survive financially until the success comes. But like everyone says, I just keep hanging in there. I am doing what I love and I have put so much into this and worked so hard that I just can't quit now. What will I do if I run out of money? Well, I will get a job to supplement until "my ship comes in". But at this point, I just refuse to give up.

I guess attitude is key. While "failure" sometimes creeps in, you can't let it take over. Remind yourself of the success you've had to date and see how you can build on that. Also, find someone to mentor you. That has been HUGE for me. Just having someone to talk to and to say, "I'm afraid I can't do this" then they perk you up. I don't know your industry but if you can find a person who is a "success" that is willing to mentor you, that will really boost your spirits. Mentors can also tell you when an idea is way off base and help you to find resources and to find lost details you may have missed. I really wish that I had found a mentor (I actually have 2 now) sooner. My first mentor is with SCORE (free) and my other mentor is someone whose internet marketing course I am taking. This guy is really sharp and he has a vested interest in me as if I don't succeed, he will refund my money. If I succeed, I give a testimonial about how good his program is. It's a total win for him and for me. Not saying you have to go this route, but definitely get a mentor.

good luck!!
Darline

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Susan Burg on January 15, 2010 at 8:46pm

I KNOW how you feel. I think it's good for my daughter to see that, sometimes, yes, I have doubts. They just don't last. we are human and we strive to make the people around us proud of us. What you need to remember is that YOU must be proud of YOU first. Before anyone else will see you as a success you have to see yourself as a success. I have doubts. I just don't let them last long and I get right back to it. My grandfather used to say, "you have one day to cry. Then get back up and go to it again". To overcome that feeling of doubt, I accept that I have doubts and then I let it go. Read the books by Pema Chodron. You will find great comfort and inspiration in her books. She is a real person and she gives wonderful insight to walking on sand.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shanah S on January 16, 2010 at 11:09am

Susan:

Yes, thanks for the comment.

To me, no such thing as quitting. If you can find a reason to keep going, then keep going. Otherwise, get out. No sense in continuing to battle with yourself if you really know that you cannot do something. But, and that's a major conjunction, fear, failure are stages of success so if you can just weather the storm, you can live to fight on and become that success that you desire so much. FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT ER'DAY!


Susan Burg said:

I KNOW how you feel. I think it's good for my daughter to see that, sometimes, yes, I have doubts. They just don't last. we are human and we strive to make the people around us proud of us. What you need to remember is that YOU must be proud of YOU first. Before anyone else will see you as a success you have to see yourself as a success. I have doubts. I just don't let them last long and I get right back to it. My grandfather used to say, "you have one day to cry. Then get back up and go to it again". To overcome that feeling of doubt, I accept that I have doubts and then I let it go. Read the books by Pema Chodron. You will find great comfort and inspiration in her books. She is a real person and she gives wonderful insight to walking on sand.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Frances Cromwell on January 19, 2010 at 3:00pm

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too hard on ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shanah S on January 19, 2010 at 3:05pm

Thanks Francine:

I do appreciate the value of working hard for what you want just as you do. Have you expressed your desires at work? Sometimes, just a helping hand is all it takes to make a difference in your world. Reach out and see if that helps ease your pathways. NOTE TO SELF!

Francie Cromwell said:

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too +!@#$ ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Frances Cromwell on January 19, 2010 at 3:15pm

Shanah, you make a good point. My boss certainly knows I want the promotion. She is a great boss and mentor. She has been really flexible with me with my schedule. We are understaffed in my department (no chance of hiring) and I think she wishes I could work longer. I am doing what I can. I may be putting in some time on the weekends soon to catch up with the important but not crucial stuff. I just need to work hard and learn more, that is my goal.

Shanah S said:

Thanks Francine:

I do appreciate the value of working hard for what you want just as you do. Have you expressed your desires at work? Sometimes, just a helping hand is all it takes to make a difference in your world. Reach out and see if that helps ease your pathways. NOTE TO SELF!

Francie Cromwell said:

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too +!@#$ ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shanah S on January 19, 2010 at 3:31pm

Yes, learning is key to growth. Sometimes, I feel completely broken down in my spirit, but I keep going. I'm learning just to say "small things" on the path to "bigger things". Thanks for your comments Francine.

Francie Cromwell said:

Shanah, you make a good point. My boss certainly knows I want the promotion. She is a great boss and mentor. She has been really flexible with me with my schedule. We are understaffed in my department (no chance of hiring) and I think she wishes I could work longer. I am doing what I can. I may be putting in some time on the weekends soon to catch up with the important but not crucial stuff. I just need to work hard and learn more, that is my goal.

Shanah S said:

Thanks Francine:

I do appreciate the value of working hard for what you want just as you do. Have you expressed your desires at work? Sometimes, just a helping hand is all it takes to make a difference in your world. Reach out and see if that helps ease your pathways. NOTE TO SELF!

Francie Cromwell said:

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too +!@#$ ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Frances Cromwell on January 19, 2010 at 3:42pm

Shanah, thanks for starting this thread, it gives us something to really think about.

(FYI, it's Francie, not Francine! :-) )

Shanah S said:

Yes, learning is key to growth. Sometimes, I feel completely broken down in my spirit, but I keep going. I'm learning just to say "small things" on the path to "bigger things". Thanks for your comments Francine.

Francie Cromwell said:

Shanah, you make a good point. My boss certainly knows I want the promotion. She is a great boss and mentor. She has been really flexible with me with my schedule. We are understaffed in my department (no chance of hiring) and I think she wishes I could work longer. I am doing what I can. I may be putting in some time on the weekends soon to catch up with the important but not crucial stuff. I just need to work hard and learn more, that is my goal.

Shanah S said:

Thanks Francine:

I do appreciate the value of working hard for what you want just as you do. Have you expressed your desires at work? Sometimes, just a helping hand is all it takes to make a difference in your world. Reach out and see if that helps ease your pathways. NOTE TO SELF!

Francie Cromwell said:

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too +!@#$ ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shanah S on January 19, 2010 at 3:47pm

You are welcome. Thank you for your comments. I apologize for the misspelling for your name, Francie.

Francie Cromwell said:

Shanah, thanks for starting this thread, it gives us something to really think about.

(FYI, it's Francie, not Francine! :-) )

Shanah S said:

Yes, learning is key to growth. Sometimes, I feel completely broken down in my spirit, but I keep going. I'm learning just to say "small things" on the path to "bigger things". Thanks for your comments Francine.

Francie Cromwell said:

Shanah, you make a good point. My boss certainly knows I want the promotion. She is a great boss and mentor. She has been really flexible with me with my schedule. We are understaffed in my department (no chance of hiring) and I think she wishes I could work longer. I am doing what I can. I may be putting in some time on the weekends soon to catch up with the important but not crucial stuff. I just need to work hard and learn more, that is my goal.

Shanah S said:

Thanks Francine:

I do appreciate the value of working hard for what you want just as you do. Have you expressed your desires at work? Sometimes, just a helping hand is all it takes to make a difference in your world. Reach out and see if that helps ease your pathways. NOTE TO SELF!

Francie Cromwell said:

Oh, I do feel much the same. I am trying to get a promotion at work and I feel like I need to work harder/longer to get there, but I don't have the extra time to put in. I have a baby who is nursing so I can't stay late, I have to leave by a certain hour to get home to feed him and just to see him. That is the only time I get to spend with him during the week. I also have a 4 year I need to spend time with. I'm trying to figure out how to spend time with my husband, my kids, have me time and study for a professional exam that will help propel my career upward. It is really a tug of war.

I really want to succeed in my career and be promoted. Due to the economy I am the primary breadwinner. I also learned the hard way that I cannot depend on someone else to support me; I need to push hard in my career to get ahead to make more. More so we can live more comfortably (less stressful) and more to save for retirement.

We all need to keep our heads up, work smarter not harder, and not be too +!@#$ ourselves. We are moms, the toughest job there is. We should all be proud of ourselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by L. Legg on January 25, 2010 at 1:25am

I was JUST having a discussion with my fiance yesterday. I am at home with my 14 month old, yet I do still work from home, along with being a founder of a non-profit plus a coach for my 13 YOA daughter volleyball team and my 11 YOA son baseball team. I don't have a college education yet I have made $60,000.00 for 4 years (13 years ago 911 dispatcher). Then I was married to my ex husband and only had one child at home in which I worked at night for the last 2 years. I become a stay at home mom then for about a year and started to sell candles which I was great at. My Ex hated that I was away at night yet still wanted to have the extra $40,000.00 I made for 3 years(support his hunting and off road racing). He was abusive and controlling and me working was my way of taking small steps to getting my self worth strong. I was forced to find something else that made decent money yet only kept me away from the family for a little bit. So I found a waitress job and it was at a 24 hour restaurant. So I would go to work after kids and EVEN EX husband slept and be back in time to fix breakfast. That was the breaking point and my strongest moment. I DIVORCED THE EX! It was me and 2 young children against the world. No "college education" was my brand across my forehead as I applied for jobs and jobs that were in my skill level and had insurance to cover my kids. So I continued to waitress and apply all over. I finally had a job at an insurance company which I typed notes from adjuster claims and handled calls from claimers. I had to move so I got a job at a call center which had unlimited over time(where was this place when I divorced my EX ;-)). So when my kids were visiting my ex then I would work overtime and when they slept at night. I did that for several years and made almost $60,000.00 again. SOOOO exciting time of my life. I felt successful cause I had no money issues and no debt. Then the company cut back on the unlimited overtime and I thought that I would do better working for an attorney(who offered no benefits for the 1st year and paid minimum wage). So I quit and used my savings to cover medical expenses(my son was sick a lot). 3 years later still no benefits or raise from the attorney and I started to look other places. I have cleaning OCD and I was offered a construction clean up job on a house for $35.00 an hour. So that became my side job for several months until my savings was built back up and I said goodbye to the attorney. Her parting comment was she hired me cause she felt sorry for me and was glad that I was leaving cause I had "no college education to force her to give me a raise.) Soon the physical toll became too much for me(I was doing about 8 houses in one weekend by myself so I would not have any sitter costs or be away from my kids for very long). Now I am working from home(most moms want) only my income is $10,000.00. No babysitting costs(someone else teaching my children foundations of life, commuting, meals for work, work attire, so that make most days worth it. My kids have been with me every step of the way. They have heard for years of my EX bashing me on my work history and when my times are lean. My kids know that I will chose their needs over my own. They get the little extra's(food at McDonald, treat Thursday, Movie Monday). They see my strength, my weakness(them) and my success cause I have NEVER been on WELFARE(there for those that need it and I NEVER thought I needed it yet maybe I did). Shanah, your kids will see your confidence as long as you stay true to yourself. My daughter will tell you I am one of the strongest people that she knows and you ask her why and she'll tell you it's cause my mom walks with her back straight and forward. I found that out from the counselor. That was the 3rd time I cried this past year(1st when my Boyfriend became my fiance after 4 years, 2nd when birth of my 3rd child). I figured a long time ago with my mother was that she gave my foundation and it was up to me on what kind of house I built on it. IT WAS BEEN REMODELED SEVERAL times yet I have never used drugs, jail, stolen or state assist. It's her lost if she is not proud of me. I can't tell you if she is or give you any wisdom there. She decided after 35 years of marriage and raising kids to saddle up and move forward to drown herself in meds to deal with the "world". Sad to me that I have this woman that is NOT the mother that I grew up with that created my strong foundation even though I am not building the house that SHE wanted. Shanah, you say that you want to improve your credit. I word of advice is to start small. Start with your smallest bill and pay what you can. I paid my attorney bill for several months $5.00 a month cause that's all I had yet I made a payment which reflected on my credit report which is better than NOT making any sort of payment. Then you take that money when that bill is paid off and go on to the next one. Sounds like you have the will, and the way will come. Surround yourself with people that support you. IT is important and it's tough yet you'll look back and see the dead weight people and wonder WHY you wasted time with them.
WOW so long and I hope it helps!

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page