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What is your zip code?: 85296

What is your industry or field of interest?: Accounting, Administrative/Support, Financial/Insurance, Real Estate

How Many Children Do You Have?: 6

A little about yourself...: I am a single mother trying to make it on my salary. Just got full cutody of my 14 year old daughter who has not lived with me since she was three. She is jealous of the other little ones and they are 4, 6, & 8. She has already lied to me, used the little ones as a way to meet new boys in the neighborhood, and has only been here since about March 7th 2009. I already had drama but she has caused so much at her dad's she cannot go back. The cost of counceling is another thing for her. $25 a week! Also to make matters get even more stressful, I Pay $550 a month in child support for my two oldest boys (one just turned 18), but I am in arrears by thousands! I receive no child support for the 4 that live with me. Most likely I never will from 2 of the 3 dad's. I am struggling to keep my head above water while trying very hard to keep my job and juggle all of the kids and a new "problem child" in the home. That's only some part of what is going on now. Help!...looking for advise, or suggestions...what do you do when everything is effecting the way you function at work? Kids ALL fight now, older daughter instigates a lot of things.... my littler ones are all stressed out because my older one tells them what to do and tells them how she feels about me, etc, etc, etc...I am soooo lucky to even have a secure job, well it was......

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At 10:53pm on July 12, 2010, Terry Starr said…: Hope you had a wonderful birthday today!
All the best,
Bradi/Terry
Co-Founders, Butterfly

At 11:26am on July 12, 2009, Terry Starr said…: Pam, Happy Butterfly Birthday!
Terry & Bradi, Co-Founders

At 9:32am on April 27, 2009, Julie Potischman said…: Hey Pam, it's Julie again, just saw that you live in Arizona, so personally reaching out to you isn't an option. Please don't hesitate to call me. we can continue to email, but please know i am also available by phone at 973-992-7222. Talk with you soon.

At 9:30am on April 27, 2009, Julie Potischman said…: Hi Pam, sorry for my delay in getting back to you this weekend. I was out of town. First i want to thank you for sharing your story with me. You have your hands full and i can only imagine what this has been like for you. OK, i am glad to hear your 14 year old is in counseling. She too must be going through a tremendous amount of termoil. So the first thing i would tell you to do is whenever you feel like you want to ring her neck, remind yourself that she is still just a kid and without me knowing all the details of her past, losing her mom at the age of three and now being back in your life, must be very difficult, so first take a deep breath, tell her yourself she too is strugglng to find a place to fit in and is going to test you like you have never been tested before. having said that, it is also extremely important to set some major guidelines and rules in your house for her to follow. I'm sure you struggle with some quilt and rule setting may not be easy, but rules for 14 year olds are so important, especially if she is giving the little ones a hard time, disrespecting is never OK. Don't be scared to take away her cell phone, or computer if consequences are needed. I also think you should have some rules about myspace. at 14 it is too dangerous and she should not have access to this page. Having said all that, I am concerned about you. Doing this alone, my god has to be scary and difficult. Do you have any support from family, friends, ex husbands, anyone? Are you in couseling? I would encourage you to reach out to as many supports you have and ASK for help. I don't want doing this alone to be an option for you. Where are you located, i would love to personally reach out to you. Tell me more about your support system, or lack of system. i also want to know how your 14 year old is treating you and the rest of the kids. Do you have any safety concerns? i look forward to hearing more from you and thanks again for reaching out. lets talk more.

At 2:04pm on April 25, 2009, Bradi Nathan said…: Hi Pamela,
Welcome to Butterfly!
You can start your journey here by joining the single moms group located on the home page. It a great way to connect and share with like moms. Reach out to them for guidance.
Please spend some time talking to our Resident Psychotherapist Julie Potischman. She is an expert in guiding moms and children. Julie Potischman can be accessed from the home page by simply clicking the tile and adding a comment on her page. She will get back to you- that's what she is here for.
Hang in there and know that you are an inspiration to your children.
Please let me know if I can help you further or if you have any questions about the site.
Warm regards,
Bradi Nathan
Co-Founder