A New Solo Performance
Years ago I used to play the flute and concert performances were a regular part
of life. Rehearsals and practice were essential to a successful performance. On
the occasions where I had a solo performance, the stakes were deemed higher -
after all, everyone was listening to me - so practice time was always increased.
I would feel the anticipation of the performance before we took the stage, do my
best, and breathe a sigh of relief when the curtains finally came to a close. I
could go home, relax, and know that I did my best and my solo performance was
done for the time being.
of life. Rehearsals and practice were essential to a successful performance. On
the occasions where I had a solo performance, the stakes were deemed higher -
after all, everyone was listening to me - so practice time was always increased.
I would feel the anticipation of the performance before we took the stage, do my
best, and breathe a sigh of relief when the curtains finally came to a close. I
could go home, relax, and know that I did my best and my solo performance was
done for the time being.
Today I stand on stage for a new solo. There is no sitting. There is no end to this performance. And the stakes are as high as they can be. The solo
performance demanded of me has the most important audience - my two beautiful
children, a 6 year old daughter and 10 month old son. There are no dress
rehearsals for living a life we didn't expect to live...where Mommy is going it
solo and is responsible to ensure our lives are the best possible. Their Dad
loves them but he isn't here every day for his own reasons. And while I wouldn't
be anywhere else but here, I CAN'T be anywhere else. I have no understudy.
performance demanded of me has the most important audience - my two beautiful
children, a 6 year old daughter and 10 month old son. There are no dress
rehearsals for living a life we didn't expect to live...where Mommy is going it
solo and is responsible to ensure our lives are the best possible. Their Dad
loves them but he isn't here every day for his own reasons. And while I wouldn't
be anywhere else but here, I CAN'T be anywhere else. I have no understudy.
I've started this blog to be a positive part of my journey as a solo mom. I have no doubt there will be posts that exhibit my emotions of angst, fear,
stress, anger, and resentment. I also have no doubt there will be posts of
growth, friendship, adoration, joy, and love. One of my dearest girlfriends told
me a few months ago something that has become a mantra for me, "Every day a
little easier. Every day a little stronger." I hope that by sharing things are
made easier and stronger, not just for me, but for other solo moms who may find
some of my stories familiar, funny or helpful.
stress, anger, and resentment. I also have no doubt there will be posts of
growth, friendship, adoration, joy, and love. One of my dearest girlfriends told
me a few months ago something that has become a mantra for me, "Every day a
little easier. Every day a little stronger." I hope that by sharing things are
made easier and stronger, not just for me, but for other solo moms who may find
some of my stories familiar, funny or helpful.
All told, this is me. This is me and them. Our Trio of Hearts. And we are ready to take our place on stage.
Comment
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Comment by Lisa Mitchell on March 16, 2010 at 11:32am -
Thank you Terry. I look forward to having an opportunity to share what is important for me to grow as a mother and a person with the hopes that others will find some strength in my words and experience. Cheers to you for making every day a little bit easier and a little bit stronger for yourself and your children!
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Comment by Terry Starr on March 16, 2010 at 10:59am -
Love this -- so glad you will continue to blog here on your solo mom journey.... thanks for sharing. I do believe as my children have gotten older, [which agrees with your mantra], I seem to be handling the juggling better.
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Comment by Lisa Mitchell on March 16, 2010 at 3:10am
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I originally wrote this piece on February 13th but decided to repost here as it's integral to the core of my blog posts. My attempt is to capture moments of life as a solo mom who is raising and loving her two children and honoring herself in the process. I am not solo by choice. I don't know how long being solo will last. But I know my little loves and I have right now. Today. And I want nothing more than for them to embrace all the joy available to us.
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