Deciding on Living Arrangements for your Senior Loved Ones

Lisa Cook Bayer, J.D., is President of Life Management Resources, LLC, a private elder care advocacy firm located in northern New Jersey.

You’ve recently returned from a weekend with your parents and mom kept repeating the same story over and over about her next door neighbor’s pot roast. Your friend’s dad, who lives alone, recently fell and ended up in the hospital. You and your friend know that your parents cannot continue in the same living arrangement but you don’t know what the options are or how to go about making a change.

Basically, there are four main types of living situations, and what is right for one older adult may not be appropriate for their peer. A senior may wish to continue living in his or her family home for as long as possible, bringing in services as necessary. Or, they may decide to “downsize” and consider an independent living senior citizen community. Finally, depending on their health and the skill of the services that they require, the family may help them decide on an assisted living or skilled nursing residence.

Many factors need to be considered in deciding whether and where to move mom and dad. Unfortunately, finances and whether or not the older adult can afford to live in their preferred situation is often the deciding factor. Assuming money is not an issue, it is important to ask and respect the older adult’s wishes. Of course, proximity to family and friends, reliability of services (particularly when an older adult lives independently but heavily relies on outside caregivers), types of services offered, and the ability of the living facility to address future needs and support needs to be taken into account.

When the decision is made to move out of an independent living situation and into a senior residence it is very important to visit the facility—making both announced and unannounced visits. Furthermore, try to meet with the professionals who will be providing the day to day care such as the Director of Wellness and the Executive Director. Don’t rely on the marketing person’s representations, as it is very important to perform your own due diligence including sometimes having the rental agreement reviewed by an attorney.

Any decision the older adult and his or her family makes should be informed as opposed to emotional. It’s not always easy, but when the right decision is made, it reduces stress and helps bring comfort and a sense of safety and security to all.

www.lifemanagementresources.net

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