Do you believe in parents allowing their children to "experiment" with alcohol or drugs while under their supervision?
submitted by Julie Potischman, Butterfly's Resident Psychotherapist
Do you believe in parents allowing their children to "experiment" with alcohol or drugs while under their supervision? Or, do you believe in setting a hard and fast rule of "NO" and trust that they will obey?
“I am not an advocate of parents who believe it is better to experiment with drugs and alcohol under their supervision. It is one thing to have your child try a drink or drug for the first time under parents supervision, but it is a whole different ballgame to say that since the kids will be doing drugs and drinking anyway so the parents would rather have them do it while they are home. Moreover, unless your child partakes in drug/alcohol intake alone, the theory of supervising kids “partying” usually entails a group of friends in which YOU as the parent are now RESPONSIBLE for. It is a HUGE liability to be the "COOL" parent who allows drinking and drugs in one’s home. I certainly can respect the idea parents wanting their child to do it in a safe place, one in which an adult is present, but the parent is taking on an illegal responsibility and could go to jail. So, no, I am not an advocate of that theory. However, I am also not an advocate parents saying a hard-fast "NO" and trusting that their kids will abide. Studies continue to show the percentage of kids experimenting with drugs to be very high. I believe the better way of handling it is to know that your child WILL experiment and as such, educate them on the serious consequences of substance abuse. Teach them to NEVER get in a car with someone under the influence, NEVER get behind the wheel if under the influence and that you will pick them up if ever needed to avoid them getting in a car with a drunk driver. Tell your kids you are available to answer any questions for them and if you don't know the answers you will find someone that does. Teach your children to make good decisions and to once again have confidence and respect for themselves. Only then can wwe as parents do the hardest thing, trust them. Recognize that you probably experimented at one point and have lived to tell about it and that if you raised your child to be a confident, secure and thoughtful person, they will, in the end, make the right decisions.
Having said that, if your child is struggling with drugs and alcohol or if your kids just need someone to talk to, professional help is always available. I wish had someone (like me) to talk to when I was a kid. Don't be afraid of therapy.”
Julie Potischman, NCC, LPC Psychotherapist Roseland Psychotherapy Assoc. 204 Eagle Rock Ave. Roseland, NJ 07068
Talk with Julie
Visit her website: juliepotischman.com
Do you believe in parents allowing their children to "experiment" with alcohol or drugs while under their supervision? Or, do you believe in setting a hard and fast rule of "NO" and trust that they will obey? “I am not an advocate of parents who believe it is better to experiment with drugs and alcohol under their supervision. It is one thing to have your child try a drink or drug for the first time under parents supervision, but it is a whole different ballgame to say that since the kids will be doing drugs and drinking anyway so the parents would rather have them do it while they are home. Moreover, unless your child partakes in drug/alcohol intake alone, the theory of supervising kids “partying” usually entails a group of friends in which YOU as the parent are now RESPONSIBLE for. It is a HUGE liability to be the "COOL" parent who allows drinking and drugs in one’s home. I certainly can respect the idea parents wanting their child to do it in a safe place, one in which an adult is present, but the parent is taking on an illegal responsibility and could go to jail. So, no, I am not an advocate of that theory. However, I am also not an advocate parents saying a hard-fast "NO" and trusting that their kids will abide. Studies continue to show the percentage of kids experimenting with drugs to be very high. I believe the better way of handling it is to know that your child WILL experiment and as such, educate them on the serious consequences of substance abuse. Teach them to NEVER get in a car with someone under the influence, NEVER get behind the wheel if under the influence and that you will pick them up if ever needed to avoid them getting in a car with a drunk driver. Tell your kids you are available to answer any questions for them and if you don't know the answers you will find someone that does. Teach your children to make good decisions and to once again have confidence and respect for themselves. Only then can wwe as parents do the hardest thing, trust them. Recognize that you probably experimented at one point and have lived to tell about it and that if you raised your child to be a confident, secure and thoughtful person, they will, in the end, make the right decisions.
Having said that, if your child is struggling with drugs and alcohol or if your kids just need someone to talk to, professional help is always available. I wish had someone (like me) to talk to when I was a kid. Don't be afraid of therapy.”
Julie Potischman, NCC, LPC Psychotherapist Roseland Psychotherapy Assoc. 204 Eagle Rock Ave. Roseland, NJ 07068
Talk with Julie
Visit her website: juliepotischman.com
Comment
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Comment by Melissa Gagnon on August 17, 2010 at 2:27pm -
Having older teens now, we have observed that the "cool" parents who did allow drugs and alcohol at their homes now have children who are addicts, or recovering addicts. Parents who do not allow that behavior are not guarenteed that their children will not have a substance abuse problem, but those parents who do allow these behaviors are setting their children up for addiction and/or poor choices. I believe that most kids are going to experiment, even though they know the risks. As a parent, I have also outlined the consequences if I catch them and I followed through with my punishments. They were harsh, but relevant and on a progressive scale. Our son knows he will not be driving when he's 17 if he does "it" again and our daughter went back to school without her car. We also randomly drug test our kids--that gives them the reason to say to their friends "I can't. My parents drug test me". It's tough, but I doni't want to look back saying I didn't do all that I could to keep my kids from substance abuse and that very difficult life.
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