How might a husband feel if his wife should suddenly become the major “bread winner?”

Comment

Comment by Michele Downie on August 18, 2010 at 11:16pm

My husband has been a SAHD for the past 6 years. With the cost of daycare and the inconsistency of his income (as a freelance jeweler), it just made sense. He loves being with the boys and having such a unique role with them. He has always done all of the cooking and has very flexible ideas about gender roles. But, he has told me that part of him has not let go of the idea that he should be making more money to support the family. He knows that what he does saves us money and is the most important job in the universe, but part of him does feel like he's not fully doing his part. So, even a man as flexible and liberal as my husband can have difficulty completely letting go of the societal expectations of the male role.

Comment by Kelly Gump on April 28, 2010 at 8:50pm

My husband often jokes that I should be the one to get a full time job so he can stay home. He usually quickly follows that with "that was a a joke." He loves our boys but he knows how hard it is to be the parent who is responsible for all of their activities and appointments. With my part time work I can stay on top of it and I feel like I am contributing in my profession as well. For him to stay home or switch with me sounds nice to him for a second, but then reality hits him. I think if it was out of necessity, he would be OK with it and not feel like less of a man. I just think he is fine with things the way they are now :)