Recession: How To Talk To Your Kids
Julie Potischman, MyWorkButterfly.com's Resident Psychotherapist, shares:
1. How should we talk to our kids about the recession at a time when luxuries like camp are being taken away?
The age of the child is always a factor when answering questions such as this; it is really hard to come up with an answer that meets all ages. Having said that, I believe it is important to talk to our children when luxuries are changing. I think the first thing parents need to do is get over the embarrassment they may feel about their own financial situation. Teaching our children to feel shame over the loss of a luxury is not something I think is an appropriate thing to teach. Once we as adults face our own shame and let go of our self-indulgences, of our belief that our children deserve the best of everything, sit down with them and simply explain that financially things have changed and due to that change, certain luxuries are not currently possible. As a therapist, a part of me is bothered by this question, because I don't quite understand the fear that so many parents have about telling their kids that something is too expensive or that they can't afford something. Even the most affluent of parents need to teach boundaries and although they may be able to afford something, it is important to teach that they can't have everything- not everything is obtainable and or deserved. As disappointed as our children may feel when we tell them that they can't go to camp this summer, and as much as it breaks our heart to have to say "no" to them, our children will understand if they have been properly introduced to financial boundaries all along. If/when you do break the news to your children that they won't be able to go to camp, per se, and they do have a melt down, temper tantrum or don't take it very well, then I truly believe their reaction to the news is a wake up call to the parent that they may have been laxed in teaching appropriate financial boundaries all along and they now have a unique teaching opportunity to work with in the immediate future.
2. What do you tell your children when mommy or daddy loses their job?
Again age factors into this answer, but in general, tell them the truth. Ensure them that things may be a bit different, but that everything will be OK. Even if the parent is feeling terrified and worried, I would encourage the parent to fake it for the kids sake. If things in your life need to change because of that loss of job, then once again, talk to your kids about those changes and use this opportunity to teach values and appreciation that so many of our kids lack these days.
Talk with Julie
Visit her website: juliepotischman.com
1. How should we talk to our kids about the recession at a time when luxuries like camp are being taken away?
The age of the child is always a factor when answering questions such as this; it is really hard to come up with an answer that meets all ages. Having said that, I believe it is important to talk to our children when luxuries are changing. I think the first thing parents need to do is get over the embarrassment they may feel about their own financial situation. Teaching our children to feel shame over the loss of a luxury is not something I think is an appropriate thing to teach. Once we as adults face our own shame and let go of our self-indulgences, of our belief that our children deserve the best of everything, sit down with them and simply explain that financially things have changed and due to that change, certain luxuries are not currently possible. As a therapist, a part of me is bothered by this question, because I don't quite understand the fear that so many parents have about telling their kids that something is too expensive or that they can't afford something. Even the most affluent of parents need to teach boundaries and although they may be able to afford something, it is important to teach that they can't have everything- not everything is obtainable and or deserved. As disappointed as our children may feel when we tell them that they can't go to camp this summer, and as much as it breaks our heart to have to say "no" to them, our children will understand if they have been properly introduced to financial boundaries all along. If/when you do break the news to your children that they won't be able to go to camp, per se, and they do have a melt down, temper tantrum or don't take it very well, then I truly believe their reaction to the news is a wake up call to the parent that they may have been laxed in teaching appropriate financial boundaries all along and they now have a unique teaching opportunity to work with in the immediate future.
2. What do you tell your children when mommy or daddy loses their job?
Again age factors into this answer, but in general, tell them the truth. Ensure them that things may be a bit different, but that everything will be OK. Even if the parent is feeling terrified and worried, I would encourage the parent to fake it for the kids sake. If things in your life need to change because of that loss of job, then once again, talk to your kids about those changes and use this opportunity to teach values and appreciation that so many of our kids lack these days.
Talk with Julie
Visit her website: juliepotischman.com
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