Sandy Alouete, SVP Talent Relation VH1 & Mom
As told by Butterfly Co-founder, Bradi Nathan
Let’s explore the “grass is always greener” cliché, shall we? I admit that when my kids were babies, my grass was brown, dried out, burnt, overexposed to the harsh elements. My husband’s grass, not ass, was thick and green, shiny little blades sparkling in the sun. Put simply, he went off to work everyday and I did not. I was a worker and a very good worker at that. Then I had babies. While I worked harder than my husband as a new mom…. his work did seem more appealing to me.
Sandy Alouete is a worker. She works for this little company (not) called Viacom as the SVP of Music and Talent Relations for VH1! Sandy is also a mother. Her toes are so perfectly placed on my old burnt grass and my husband’s glowing greens. She has the best of both worlds. In an exclusive interview with Butterfly, Sandy tells us how she skillfully balances a massive career and caring for her 1 ½ year old daughter:
BN: How established in your career were you before you had your daughter?
SA: I’ve been in the music business since 1985, with years spent working on the record label side and then shifting to television in 2000 – right up to the present. My maternity leave of 4 months after having Romy in 2007 has been the longest break in my 23-year career!
BN: What type of shift in your work schedule occurred when you became a mom?
SA: I’ve had a pretty dramatic shift in my schedule. I now work essentially a 10am-6pm workday, Monday through Thursday, and Fridays I work from home. Before the baby, I was in the office Monday through Friday, 10am-7:30pm or 8:30pm on average, and out after work for concerts and/or business dinners at least once or twice a week. I now try and schedule lunch meetings wherever possible and I only participate in after hours business once or twice a month. I generally hop on the computer after I’ve put my daughter to sleep and catch up on the emails I’ve missed since leaving the office. On any given night, that could be another 1 or 2 hours of work. In short, getting home after work to my husband and daughter is my priority!
BN: How did you find appropriate childcare for your baby?
SA: I was referred to our wonderful babysitter through a friend who works in my neighborhood (Hoboken, NJ). Our sitter is 28 years old, lives just a few blocks away, and had years of babysitting experience. She has a masters degree in education and has applied to numerous schools in NYC and NJ for a teaching position, but until she lands a suitable gig, she’s ours thankfully!
BN: What resources/advice can you offer moms who are looking for a good sitter?
SA: I would recommend checking online community bulletin boards if they exist. I signed up for the Hoboken Family Alliance board while still on maternity leave and found a host of good referrals of nannies/sitters from families, as well as postings from nannies seeing employment. I would also recommend talking to other moms and nannies while you’re on maternity leave. Nannies in particular tend to know of others looking for work. My pediatrician’s office was also a good source for recommendations. We interviewed 3 other nannies before hiring ours. I found a great list of interview questions to ask nannies online…I’d highly recommend taking to moment to review that and keeping it handy while interviewing. All in all, you want someone who has a similar approach to parenting, someone loving and caring and of course someone who comes with reliable references.
BN: What type of emotions did you wrestle with in returning to work?
SA: As I was approaching the end of my maternity leave, I was filled with dread. I wasn’t dying to get back to work, nor could I imagine leaving my baby every day. I had a friend who gave birth a couple of months earlier than me, and since she worked for a British-owned company she was entitled to a full year of maternity leave! I couldn’t have been more envious of her! But I had no choice…I had to return to my job, primarily for financial reasons. In the early days of returning to work I was very heavy hearted about leaving my daughter in the morning. I was nervous about immersing myself back in the fast paced environment, and anxious about catching myself up on a variety of projects. But I gradually became more at ease with the situation, due in large part to my sense of security of my daughter’s well-being in my sitter’s care.
BN: How do you divide your time between work and family?
SA: I think I do a pretty good job of balancing work and life, and I’m very fortunate to work for a company that really places a high emphasis on that. When I’m at work, I give my job my all…and my weekday mornings and evenings, and weekends are focused on my family as much as possible. I do wish there was more time on the back end of each work day…by the time I get home there’s simply not enough Mommy/Romy time before I’m putting her to sleep. But I try to remind myself it’s quality, not quantity. The weekends and my work-from-home Fridays are my most cherished days.
BN: Does the “grass is greener” cliché apply to you? How so?
SA: I’m definitely guilty of the “grass is greener” cliché! I look at the stay-at-home moms and often envy their lives. I imagine the playdates and afternoons in the park that I could be enjoying with Romy if not for my job. I’ve had moments of actually being jealous of my sitter, which I know is so irrational, but hey, I’m human! And yet, I know for a fact that many of these moms look at me with a bit of envy. One recently said to me “You have it all…a super exciting career and a wonderful husband and daughter!” I know it’s true…it’s just easy to lose that perspective sometimes.
BN: How does working make you a better mother/wife?
SA: I’d like to think I have more patience with my daughter, who is creeping up on the terrible two’s and can try just about anyone’s patience sometimes! I’m so excited to see her when I get home, as she is to see me, that I delight in her non-stop energy. Perhaps if I were home with her all day, I might find the nighttime ritual too much. I don’t want to underestimate the power of adult stimulation during the day…my job keeps me plugged in, connected and balanced. All in all, being a working mom makes me cherish my family time all the more.
BN: What are some time saving tips that you might share with other working moms?
SA: Wherever you can have your sitter pitch-in, go for it! I took me a long while to finally realize that it’s ok for my sitter to give Romy her dinner before I get home from work, rather than insisting I tend to this. Of course I’d prefer to share the experience with my daughter, but having her already fed when I walk in the door leaves more time for her bath, reading time and getting ready for bed. It’s all about looking at the day strategically and maximizing your time with your family. Even something as simple as slipping out during my lunch hour to buy bus tickets, as opposed to waiting in a long line during the evening commute, is a good way to ensure there’s more time spent at home.
BN: How might moms successfully request to work from home one day of the week?
SA: I would suggest talking to Human Resources or an office manager before you take maternity leave and find out what type of flexible hours plan your company might have. If you know of other working moms who have this arrangement, don’t be shy about asking them…I have found a great camaraderie among working moms in my company. If you can approach your boss with a well thought out plan and can assure him/her that the job will get done and you’ll be as accessible as possible from home, you should be fine. Of course, I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can do my job from home, by and large. For working moms who are more in support roles in their jobs, it might be a bit more challenging, but it’s absolutely worth investigating. Progressive companies tend to support job sharing and flex hours.
BN: What advice do you have for moms returning to work after maternity leave?/What emotions might they anticipate?
SA: Be patient with yourself and don’t set unrealistic expectations. It will take a good minute to acclimate, coming off months of endless days with your baby. It’s an emotional time and you’ll undoubtedly want to cry that first week or two when anyone asks you about the baby! Surround yourself with lots of photos and check in with your sitter as often as you need to – you’ll need that reassurance. But like everything else, in time you’ll readjust to being back at work, and you’ll rejoice in those moments when you’re nearing home at the end of the day, knowing what awaits!
- Back to Peer Interviews
Let’s explore the “grass is always greener” cliché, shall we? I admit that when my kids were babies, my grass was brown, dried out, burnt, overexposed to the harsh elements. My husband’s grass, not ass, was thick and green, shiny little blades sparkling in the sun. Put simply, he went off to work everyday and I did not. I was a worker and a very good worker at that. Then I had babies. While I worked harder than my husband as a new mom…. his work did seem more appealing to me.
Sandy Alouete is a worker. She works for this little company (not) called Viacom as the SVP of Music and Talent Relations for VH1! Sandy is also a mother. Her toes are so perfectly placed on my old burnt grass and my husband’s glowing greens. She has the best of both worlds. In an exclusive interview with Butterfly, Sandy tells us how she skillfully balances a massive career and caring for her 1 ½ year old daughter:
BN: How established in your career were you before you had your daughter?
SA: I’ve been in the music business since 1985, with years spent working on the record label side and then shifting to television in 2000 – right up to the present. My maternity leave of 4 months after having Romy in 2007 has been the longest break in my 23-year career!
BN: What type of shift in your work schedule occurred when you became a mom?
SA: I’ve had a pretty dramatic shift in my schedule. I now work essentially a 10am-6pm workday, Monday through Thursday, and Fridays I work from home. Before the baby, I was in the office Monday through Friday, 10am-7:30pm or 8:30pm on average, and out after work for concerts and/or business dinners at least once or twice a week. I now try and schedule lunch meetings wherever possible and I only participate in after hours business once or twice a month. I generally hop on the computer after I’ve put my daughter to sleep and catch up on the emails I’ve missed since leaving the office. On any given night, that could be another 1 or 2 hours of work. In short, getting home after work to my husband and daughter is my priority!
BN: How did you find appropriate childcare for your baby?
SA: I was referred to our wonderful babysitter through a friend who works in my neighborhood (Hoboken, NJ). Our sitter is 28 years old, lives just a few blocks away, and had years of babysitting experience. She has a masters degree in education and has applied to numerous schools in NYC and NJ for a teaching position, but until she lands a suitable gig, she’s ours thankfully!
BN: What resources/advice can you offer moms who are looking for a good sitter?
SA: I would recommend checking online community bulletin boards if they exist. I signed up for the Hoboken Family Alliance board while still on maternity leave and found a host of good referrals of nannies/sitters from families, as well as postings from nannies seeing employment. I would also recommend talking to other moms and nannies while you’re on maternity leave. Nannies in particular tend to know of others looking for work. My pediatrician’s office was also a good source for recommendations. We interviewed 3 other nannies before hiring ours. I found a great list of interview questions to ask nannies online…I’d highly recommend taking to moment to review that and keeping it handy while interviewing. All in all, you want someone who has a similar approach to parenting, someone loving and caring and of course someone who comes with reliable references.
BN: What type of emotions did you wrestle with in returning to work?
SA: As I was approaching the end of my maternity leave, I was filled with dread. I wasn’t dying to get back to work, nor could I imagine leaving my baby every day. I had a friend who gave birth a couple of months earlier than me, and since she worked for a British-owned company she was entitled to a full year of maternity leave! I couldn’t have been more envious of her! But I had no choice…I had to return to my job, primarily for financial reasons. In the early days of returning to work I was very heavy hearted about leaving my daughter in the morning. I was nervous about immersing myself back in the fast paced environment, and anxious about catching myself up on a variety of projects. But I gradually became more at ease with the situation, due in large part to my sense of security of my daughter’s well-being in my sitter’s care.
BN: How do you divide your time between work and family?
SA: I think I do a pretty good job of balancing work and life, and I’m very fortunate to work for a company that really places a high emphasis on that. When I’m at work, I give my job my all…and my weekday mornings and evenings, and weekends are focused on my family as much as possible. I do wish there was more time on the back end of each work day…by the time I get home there’s simply not enough Mommy/Romy time before I’m putting her to sleep. But I try to remind myself it’s quality, not quantity. The weekends and my work-from-home Fridays are my most cherished days.
BN: Does the “grass is greener” cliché apply to you? How so?
SA: I’m definitely guilty of the “grass is greener” cliché! I look at the stay-at-home moms and often envy their lives. I imagine the playdates and afternoons in the park that I could be enjoying with Romy if not for my job. I’ve had moments of actually being jealous of my sitter, which I know is so irrational, but hey, I’m human! And yet, I know for a fact that many of these moms look at me with a bit of envy. One recently said to me “You have it all…a super exciting career and a wonderful husband and daughter!” I know it’s true…it’s just easy to lose that perspective sometimes.
BN: How does working make you a better mother/wife?
SA: I’d like to think I have more patience with my daughter, who is creeping up on the terrible two’s and can try just about anyone’s patience sometimes! I’m so excited to see her when I get home, as she is to see me, that I delight in her non-stop energy. Perhaps if I were home with her all day, I might find the nighttime ritual too much. I don’t want to underestimate the power of adult stimulation during the day…my job keeps me plugged in, connected and balanced. All in all, being a working mom makes me cherish my family time all the more.
BN: What are some time saving tips that you might share with other working moms?
SA: Wherever you can have your sitter pitch-in, go for it! I took me a long while to finally realize that it’s ok for my sitter to give Romy her dinner before I get home from work, rather than insisting I tend to this. Of course I’d prefer to share the experience with my daughter, but having her already fed when I walk in the door leaves more time for her bath, reading time and getting ready for bed. It’s all about looking at the day strategically and maximizing your time with your family. Even something as simple as slipping out during my lunch hour to buy bus tickets, as opposed to waiting in a long line during the evening commute, is a good way to ensure there’s more time spent at home.
BN: How might moms successfully request to work from home one day of the week?
SA: I would suggest talking to Human Resources or an office manager before you take maternity leave and find out what type of flexible hours plan your company might have. If you know of other working moms who have this arrangement, don’t be shy about asking them…I have found a great camaraderie among working moms in my company. If you can approach your boss with a well thought out plan and can assure him/her that the job will get done and you’ll be as accessible as possible from home, you should be fine. Of course, I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can do my job from home, by and large. For working moms who are more in support roles in their jobs, it might be a bit more challenging, but it’s absolutely worth investigating. Progressive companies tend to support job sharing and flex hours.
BN: What advice do you have for moms returning to work after maternity leave?/What emotions might they anticipate?
SA: Be patient with yourself and don’t set unrealistic expectations. It will take a good minute to acclimate, coming off months of endless days with your baby. It’s an emotional time and you’ll undoubtedly want to cry that first week or two when anyone asks you about the baby! Surround yourself with lots of photos and check in with your sitter as often as you need to – you’ll need that reassurance. But like everything else, in time you’ll readjust to being back at work, and you’ll rejoice in those moments when you’re nearing home at the end of the day, knowing what awaits!
- Back to Peer Interviews
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