Woman's classes teach balance, happiness

Daily Record
By Diane Lang

Cash may be in short supply during this recession, but calmness and perspective needn't be. Not while Diane Lang teaches at local adult schools.

For years, the 40-year-old Flanders psychotherapist and mom has written books and created classes for the public on soothing, practical topics — relieving anxiety, creating balance, being happy, positive parenting.

These days, Lang is urging her students to see the recession as an opportunity to throw their lives into balance and create new healthy living patterns. They're headed toward a more balanced life in the long run, she tells them. The tough part is making the transition.

"In the '80s and '90s, we thought we had to have a lot of money to be happy, but we realize now that's not the case," Lang said. "In the beginning of the recession people lost houses, made changes, felt bad about themselves, worried they couldn't provide for their families, realized they can't participate in as many activities."

Now, after downsizing or moving in with family, they are left mostly with each other and their neighbors, and conversation increasingly is less about new cars or big vacations and more about family outings and cooking dinner at home.

"Due to lack of money people are building stronger bonds, and relationships are a key factor in happiness," said Lang, who also teaches psychology at Centenary College and Montclair State University.

Pre-recession, many people worked late nights and struggled to keep up with children's activities and basic household errands, she said. They pined for relief. Now they have lots of unwelcome downtime, and Lang encourages them to use it well. Can't afford a gym? Walk and get those endorphins flowing. Stuck without something to do? Volunteer and make new connections.

Kieran Vogel of Stroudsburg, Pa., a freelance artist and cartoonist, started taking Lang's courses when he was in a creative slump. She urged him to focus not on lofty goals but on the here and now in an attempt to understand where he is headed and how to get there.

"Diane advised me to keep a journal about the daily obstacles I face," said Vogel, 39. "I thought it was silly at first, but now I feel more in control of my life. When I came to the first class any balance I may once have had was in shambles."

Taking a class with Lang is more like sitting in a diner talking with an old pal than listening to a lecture, according to Vogel. Nowadays he smiles a lot more.

Two 2009 studies have linked optimism to better health and longevity.

The Mayo Clinic followed 7,000 people who completed a personality test in the early 1960s and found the most pessimistic had a 30 percent greater chance of dying than the most optimistic.

A National Institutes of Health study, which monitored 100,000 women at least 50 years old for eight years, showed the optimists among them were 30 percent less likely than pessimists to die of heart disease and 14 percent less likely to die of other causes.

The studies do not surprise Lang, who has focused on what is positive and possible about human nature since her graduate school days at the New York Institute of Technology, where she earned her master's degree.

The approach has aided her in growing beyond a difficult childhood. She also has used it to help patients at the rehabilitation facility where she works and to write her books, including the most recent "Creating Balance & Finding Happiness" (Kendall Hunt, $24.75).

Lang offers people quick ways to stop worrying and adopt a positive frame of mind. Here are two:

• Do an emotional detox. Avoid or get away from narcissistic people who drain energy.

• Do a gratitude check for two minutes a day. Even if life is not optimal, there always is something to appreciate in the moment, even if it's a great cup of coffee.

"Enjoy something about every moment you have — the good ones and the bad ones," Lang said, "and remind yourself everything is temporary."

Including economic boom times. And recessions, too.